Call this my coming out, if you will: I identify as asexual. I have never been in a romantic or sexual relationship and have never prioritized finding one. I rarely initiate discussions on the matter: when family and friends inquire if I'm dating anyone, I always merely state "No, I'm not interested in dating." For me, coming out, in the official sense of the phrase, has never felt necessary, as I don’t really try to actively hide my orientation.
Then again, I’ve only disclosed this part of myself to a handful of people, namely friends from college and childhood who I know would pay no mind to it and accept it as normal; meanwhile, I have never spoken about the topic explicitly with my family, nor do I prefer to mention it amongst my conservative-leaning friends. While I hold out on mentioning my sexuality with that latter group, out of fear of ruining those relationships—another issue entirely that I choose to ignore, for now—I know my extremely supportive, open-minded family would not respond negatively in the slightest towards the matter. So why do I not care to discuss it with those I love the most?
Well firstly, I feel no need to discuss something that is presently nonexistent: like I stated, my simple answer to the dating question is “no,” and with personal regard, there is not much else to say beyond that. But secondly, I hesitate to talk about my orientation more seriously because of my uncertainty in identifying myself as asexual. Sometimes I do find myself attracted to people and wanting romantic or sexual encounters, and at different points in my life I thought myself to be gay, straight, bisexual, or demisexual. So is my lack of a partner due to an inability to find one, as opposed to a disinterest? Perhaps I seek some sort of intimate relationship but without sex? I feel that asexuality somewhat implies absolute indifference towards romance and sex and dating—which I know not to be true but is nevertheless a sustained impression—and I do not wish to put myself in any such box that suggests I am completely closed off to these things.
Even with these issues and questions sporadically lingering in my mind, the bottom line is that I currently do not feel the need to investigate this aspect of myself. For many people, delving into sex and relationships is a large priority of one's life, and this is not the case for me. I find myself more compelled to follow other pursuits I am more fundamentally interested in and want to attribute to my character and life, particularly creative outlets like fashion and music or, hopefully more so in the future, greater activist efforts. I acknowledge that my sexuality, or lack thereof, is certainly part of my identity; hopefully, in a near time, I will feel more comfortable discussing it openly with everyone I hold close, and perhaps I will even find myself wanting to experience dating in the future. At the present, however, there are other activities and passions that I have become more emboldened to be involved with and disclose to the world, and I am confident in my sense of self to do so with total pride.